Pursuing My Father's Dreams.

    I'd like to dedicate this post to explain why the Kosova war is such an important factor and event in my life. It isn't just a war in my country for me, the Kosova war is the war that changed me life and me as a person. Countless of people died in the Kosova war, people who have yet to be recovered and found to this day, and people who unfortunately, may never be found.In was in this war that my father joined the thousands of people who risked and gave up their life for Kosova's freedom. My father did die in the Kosova war of 1998, while I was only 3 years old. You can imagine the toll that my father's death has on me and will continue to have on me. It's difficult to explain this for people to understand through a blog post over on the internet, but I will try. Essentially, I live my life for my father. My father is the reason that I am alive, and I live  for Him. There are no if, and's or but's. It's as simple as that, I live my life for my father because he gave up his life for me.  My father is the reason that I have dreams, and the reason that I have the dream to become a lawyer someday in the future. Not because he said that he wanted me to be a lawyer, and not because he was a lawyer, but because he gives me the strength and courage to believe in my dreams, and ultimately to believe in myself. I can honestly say that if it wasn't for my father, I would have given up on my dream to become a lawyer long ago.

..I don't want to say that I don't come from a smart family because I can honestly say and believe that my father was the smartest person I will ever know. People can and might disagree with me on that, but that's what I think. What  I mean is that I don't come from a family where all the children went to school and became some big deal, and are wealthy because they have amazing careers ahead of them. Now when I say my family, I include my Uncle's family (so my father's brother and his family), and in some sense my family in Kosova. ( For those readers who are Albanian, I mean: krejt dajt, familjen e migjes) So in my family, no one had those big dreams to become some lawyer or doctor or anything like that. They just work at either stores, pharmacies, construction, things like that. And I am the youngest out of my family, so you can imagine how it is being the only one to actually have this huge dream and to actually go for it. And I am able to try and achieve my dream(s) because of my father. He is literally the reason why and how I live my life.

A family actually just 2 days ago came over (this is for my remembering, but Dita) and we were talking about school and she said this in Albanian but I will translate it into English, and she said that whenever she thinks about me she thinks about my father, because of how dedicated I am to school. She said that it was my father's dream for this children to live life and go to school and do something with their lives, and you are going to make his dreams come true. ( "ti se ke njoft Babain tan, po ai gjith ka pas qef per femijet e vet me kry shkoll e me ba diqka me jet, e ti ki mja plocu deshiren.Ti ki mja nxa venin e tij, se ai gjith ka pas qef.) And she had tears in her eyes, and kept talking about how she always thinks that I am going to do something in my life that she will be proud to say, "yah that's my Uncle's daughter." (**gjith menoi qe ti ki me arrit diqka, e me vjen mire me tha qe aja esht qika djalit migjes tem) That really hit home for me. I needed to hear that because I have always done this and lived life for my father but actually hearing the words of encouragement makes me keep going even more.

I don't think that anyone will ever completely understand just how much I love my father and that I really do live for him, but I think that's a good thing in a way. I think that because it's a thing that's between my father and me, and it feels good with things being that way.

For the reason that my father is my life, I see my life as a journey in, pursuing my father's dreams. He had a lot of dreams, and I can't make all of them come true because I am not him, but the dreams that I can make come true, I am going to try my hardest to do. It was his dream for his children, even one of them to finish school and do something with their life, and I'm going to make that dream come true; obviously with the help of the dreamer himself, my father.