Must be a Leo thing. ♥

Hi, I’ve been alive for 17 years now, and I’m in love with this thing called “life.” I’m not 100% sure why I’m in love with life so much.. I think it’s because life is so unexpected and interesting, it keeps me on my toes wondering what’s going to happen next. It’s like that butterfly feeling that you get when you see your crush. But for me, those butterflies are tiny,sparkly,glowing stars that seem so far away, but so beautiful to look at. It gives me that feeling that there is something greater than me, and us out there. And even though they’re so far away, it doesn’t mean you can never reach them. Kind of like dreams! They may seem so hard, and far, but it doesn’t mean that you’re never going to reach and pursue them. I’m a Leo. I guess that means that I’m confident, loyal, ambitious, stubborn..which I actually totally agree with. I get that creepy-nice feeling when my Horoscope relates to every single aspect of my life. It makes me feel like the Horoscope for the day was written directly for me.. makes me wonder how something can be so accurate. I talk.. ALOT… too much. Sometimes I think that it’s not healthy for someone to talk as much as I do.. but it’s like a disease,or obsession.really. I like to think that the talkative aspect of myself comes from my sign Leo, which I’m not sure is true„ but I like to think that as an excuse for talking so much. But I promise, I don’t talk about useless things, my points are always valid.. at least to me. I live„ well my heart theoretically lives in Kosova.Which is one of my too many to count obsessions. I find myself so lucky to say that I was born in the beautiful,admiring,great, country of Kosova. That’s where I get my Albanian aspect of myself. I know, I don’t know how I got so lucky.really. I didn’t ask to be Albanian, I just got lucky.

I love accessories, especially rings. They make me feel all formal and amazingly different.Oh, and I sometimes don’t make sense. But trust me,it all makes sense in my head, just not to others, which is sometimes a problem. I love the feeling when you get into your bed and cover yourself with a warm blanket. It makes me all smiley inside. I get the same feeling when I drink tea. Again,obsession. I love that feeling in the cold winter when you’re inside drinking tea,hot chocolate, or french vanilla, and you know it’s so cold outside but you’re inside; and you get that warm,cozy feeling that warms your whole heart up. I love winter snow. I love watching it fall from the sky on a dark night, it makes me wonder how it falls. Not in a scientific sense. But in a imaginatory sense. When you just look and wonder about that greater thing that lets go of all this snow to make people happy,and warm their hearts. I love slippers. They’re like a mini house for your feet that always keep you super warm. I’m sometimes random. I switch from one topic to another, on basis of what happens to come to my mind. Which I know I am doing in this post, but I really can’t help it. When something comes to my mind, I have to let it out right away, or else I get this scary feeling that I’m going to forget it, and it’s never going to come back to me. I write in capital letters when I’m writing about something I love, or am really excited about. My favourite number is 5. I don’t know why exactly, I think I chose that number when I was 5 years old, and it just kind of stuck. But I’m fine with it. I get scared when the number 13 lands on a Friday. I’m not sure why I started getting scared. But I think it’s because I broke my finger on Friday the 13th once, and I chose to blame Friday the 13th. Again, I like to think that’s a Leo thing. My favourite colour is blue like the ocean. I love saying that, “like the ocean.” Whenever I say that I actually picture a big,beautiful, blue ocean with waves flowing, and the water sparkling from beams of the sun. I like to think of myself as one of the most amazingly lucky people in the world, which conists of around 7billion people, so I consider myself hugely lucky. I think of myself that way because I have been through things that I like to think have made me strong. That’s why I am in love with life so much. I like to think that I have been through the unthinkable, for me. Because everyone is different. I love knowing that I have risen from such a low point to such a high one in a matter of my 17 years of living. I thank my bad times, including the war I experienced for making me so strong today. I love to be inspired, and ultimately inspire others. That’s why I share my story of what I have experienced.And I secretly hope that my story helps someone out,even a little bit. I love quotes. Again, it’s one of those things that give me that creepy-nice feeling that someone knows exactly what I’m going through.It makes me feel apart of something greater.

I have accepted the fact that I am a victim of growing up, and have been for quite some time now. To me , growing up is still being who you always have been and loving all the things you have loved, just adding more things and people to your list. For example, I still love a good old episode of Barney and Cailou. And I’ve added the love for long,romantic movies and books; such as my obsession with “The Notebook” and “A Walk To Remember.” I love thinking back at my life and thinking about the times when I thought I was never going to make it through; and realize that where I am now is so much better. I love waking up in the morning not knowing where I’m going to go or who I’m going to meet. It gives me that wonderful feeling of amazement, that anything could happen at any second. But at the same time that feeling of fear. Because you never know which second is going to be your last. At the same time I do not fear death.I welcome it because I look at this life, as just a stop to my ultimate finish line. I love old buildings that make you feel like you’re in a pioneer village. I love big,grand houses with a chandelier hanging with sparklings, that you constantly get lost staring at. But on the other hand, I love the feeling of small,well put together houses. I have always pictured my dream room to be all white. White walls, white bed, white dresser, with a hint of ocean blue blanket covers to it ;) I love pillows. I love the feeling of laying in bed and having the comfort of different size,and colour pillows. I love stars. I like to think of them as sparkling eyes of my loved ones watching over me. I love believing that I’m going to get somewhere in life. I absolutely love the feeling of having a good,old,solid dream that never gets old. I love the quote “Only the good die young” from Billy Joel because it gives me comfort when I think of the ones that I’ve lost.I love knowing that God took them away from me because he only takes the good, the best.. and the loved ones that I have lost, well.. they’re as good as it gets.I love Allah. I love that feeling of knowing that there is something greater out there than you, and they are always watching over you.Although, I love people who don’t believe in any greater being. I look at them as unbelievably strong, because they can live their life not having to rely on some greater Being to help them out.I think that’s amazingly strong, and I would love to have that kind of strength.

I am overly obsessed with too many things, that I think are not good for someone’s health. I am utterly,completely and irrevocably obsessed and in love with my Niece. I love that feeling I get when someone says her name. I automatically picture her smiling and I get all weird and smiley myself, and get that feeling of wanting to pinch her cheeks, which she hates. I love spending time with my Niece, because I believe you’re never too old to watch Backyardigans and Diego. I love my Nephew. Which I feel bad for sometimes because I always talk about my Niece rather than him. I think it’s because he’s still young and doesn’t even know how to talk yet. And I can’t exactly dress my Nephew up in sparkly dresses and tiaras.I have an unhealthy obsession with Prison Break, and Wentworthmiller. I love the movie “Remember Me.” I love watching movies with storylines of Cancer. They make me realize that there is someone stronger than me out there.Which I love knowing.. they make me stronger. Because if someone can go through that, than you can go through anything. I refuse to put three “periods/dots” -(…) I insist on putting only two, always. I guess it’s part of the whole stubborn quality to the Leo inside me. I love reading. I have a collection of books in my room on my bookshelf. I am unhealthily too organized, and have to plan everything. I have to write out everything I need to get done, especially when dealing with school work. I love collages, which leaves me with countless scrapbooks and fills my room walls. I love arguing and having the last word. I guess that’s why I am in love with the dream of becoming a successful Lawyer someday. That’s where my obsession with “The Lincoln Lawyer” came along. I love the feeling of being heard, and the feeling of being understood. I love long curly hair. It makes me feel wild and free. But I like straightening my hair at times, when I get in the mood to feel formal, and sophisticated. I love the feeling of summer. I love the sun. I like to think that the shining sun is the smile of my loved ones watching over me. I love eagles.Mainly because the previous flag for Kosova consists of a black two-headed eagle, mounted in the middle of a red background. Which leads to my loving of combinating my clothes with red and black. I love smiling, and being positive. I think that’s why I surround myself with positive and happy people. I love being told that I made someone smile, or brightened their day. It makes me feel all happy and giddy inside. I love sparkles and glitter, it’s like I have little miniature sparkling stars. I love thinking about the future because of how unexpected it is!I love surprises, but at the same time I don’t. For example, I love being surprised by finding something that I thought I lost forever.But then I would hate if someone ever threw me a surprise party.

I love life, family,friends, and everything that makes up this whole thing called life. I love being hard headed and knowing that I will never change for anyone, but I will never stay the same either. Must be a Leo thing.

I’m super happy that you read this whole thing. I commend you for that. I didn’t mean for it to be this ridiculously long, but in all fairness, I did warn you that I talk alot. I thank you for reading this, and know that you are loved. There’s someone out there who loves you, more than me having the last word and my obsession with Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling, and that’s real love.

-A.